March 4, 2026
The last thing he said was 'Please'
He watched me walk away like the world owed him one last look— like I might turn around and apologize for being unforgettable. his knees kissed concrete while mine were still silk-wrapped and high-heeled, still trembling from the worship he only learned how to offer when it was already too late to matter. he said please like it was a spell, like a word strong enough to pull a woman back from the edge of her own leaving. but I don’t answer to men who call only when they’re beneath me. I gave him everything soft— the quiet parts, the tender parts, the versions of myself that believed love was something we protected together. until I snapped. and now I only give lessons. I warned him that my silence wasn’t mercy. it was the edge of a blade he couldn’t see until it was already cutting him free. he called it love but only when I was on my knees— when devotion looked good on me, when surrender made him feel like a king. he never called it love when I stood up and started calling back the pieces of myself he thought he’d buried. and when the word finally broke from his mouth— please— it sounded like a boy who had just realized his prayers were being answered by the goddess he tried to burn.
August 5, 2025
Don't mistake this heat for healing.
I ain't whole. I'm haunted.
I'm the bitch they left burning
and came back for the ashes—
as if I'd giftwrap 'em some grace.
​
They skinned me
like truth they didn't wanna face.
Stripped my gold down to bone.
Dry. Cracked. Left to rot in daylight—
Called it growth.
Said it was love.
Called it tough.
Called me too much.
​
But this mouth now?
This mouth got knives in it.
This spine got barbed wire in every vertebra
this heart?
It's armored and arsoned—
​
Beating,
beating.
beating loud,
beating black,
beating bloody
and alive.
​
You wanted a corpse.
I became a cathedral.
Now Kneel.
​
I don't forgive.
I unfold.
I remember being the room
everyone screamed in,
and no one bothered to clean up after.
I was the floor they cried on.
The mirror they cracked.
then cursed for showing their face.
​
But I ain't glass.
I ain't your grief.
I ain't here for absolution.
I'm here to burn the blueprint
and build something that bites back
So let' em choke on the smoke.
Let 'em weep into the cinders.
Let them call it bitterness—
I call it bloodline.
I call it survival with a snarl.
​
You call me angry.
Good.
You should be afraid
of what I become
when I finally decide
I don't want to be
good
no more.
​
—butch.
July 21st, 2025

